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Grassroots activist, feminist, sociologist, poop talk pro, future foster mom, travel whore, thrift store junky, music and food consumer.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Impossible to Define

You want me to define love in terms of my soul but that's too trivial. With you, I have to define love in terms of my spirit and that could prove difficult; therefore, its a daunting task even though love is in my midst. Mostly because it exhibits itself on a higher plane from which descriptions barely exist. With every moment spent trying to comprehend it, I lose out on a part of the experience, and this isn't something I want to miss. But since you insist here it is...

The first time I saw you I noticed a vast amount of colors sprouting all around you. Those colors were your potentials, which made me want to awaken all the things that lie dormant within your innermost experience. Suddenly, I had the urge to write you then read you, over and over again; to starve you of the physical world then feed you from my spirit within. I wanted to confront the way love was intertwined with your being; get you to close your eyes so that you could see what I was seeing.

Would you prefer a list of reasons divulged? Or could you be content knowing that this goes deeper than my soul? Would it suit you if I told you I didn't really know? My love for you is a feeling that has a consecutive flow. It makes me throw any belief I ever had about love out the window, and you should know because I recognize the love in you as being comparably close. For me, no words were ever necessary. I felt you in my core. All that mattered, and all that still matters, is that my spirit loves you and and it has never loved anyone before.

You might get irritated by that, irritated that I can't give you something concrete; for a fact. But this love can't be written on a sheet. It can't be calculated with math. Its a continuous path that never stops long enough to be grabbed. It could be I'm moving too slow or its moving too fast. Either way it expands exponentially and I can never get it within my grasp, but I'm not upset about that. A love that surpasses any I've ever imagined is one I've always fashioned as something I would want to happen. So to find a love I can't define is one I don't need to ration. To stop and do so may get me left behind such that I disignite this passion that has crashed in to my life and altered my whole design.

After considerable thought, its clear to me that I can't limit my love's depiction on a verbal description. So how do I define my love for you when it subsists in an unchartered dimension? When no words could possibly capture the synthesis of my feelings? Maybe it would be more appropriate to create a piece of art, but where would I start? Because to do that I would need colors that illuminate as the colors that surround you. And there is not an object on earth with colors as beautiful as the ones that are in and around you. I'm not sure how you're experiencing this sensation, but there appears to be nothing that mine is bound to. It's limitless, unconditioned, and unfit for the restrictions of definitions. After all this effort, I've managed to circle back to the beginning which is an ever convincing position to deem this the perfect spot for my ending.

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